Whether your child is starting school for the very first time or your young adult is packing for university, transitions can be an emotional rollercoaster—for them and for you. The start of something new brings excitement, but also a fair share of anxiety. It’s completely normal to feel a little (or a lot) unsettled during these periods. The key is not to eliminate anxiety but to work through it, together, with compassion and care.
Understanding the Anxiety Behind Transitions
Children and young adults experience a range of emotions during school transitions—nerves about making friends, worries about fitting in, fears of academic pressure, or even grief over what they’re leaving behind. This is especially true when:
A young child starts primary school or moves to a new one A pre-teen makes the leap to secondary school A young adult leaves home for college or university
These moments, while exciting, can also feel overwhelming. They may struggle with sleep, appetite, concentration, or mood swings. As a parent, it’s natural to worry too—after all, you’ve been their anchor. But it’s important to remember: these are growing pains, and like all growth, they take time, patience, and support.
How Parents Can Support Their Children
Here are some gentle ways to help children and young adults navigate transitions:
1. Listen Without Fixing
When your child shares their fears, resist the urge to jump in with solutions. Let them talk, vent, cry if they need to. Simply saying “I hear you” or “That sounds really tough” can be incredibly validating.
2. Normalise Their Feelings
Reassure them that feeling anxious, lonely, or uncertain is completely normal. You might say:
“It’s okay to feel scared. Starting something new is a big deal. Lots of people feel this way—even grown-ups.”
3. Prepare Together
Visit the school ahead of time, talk through daily routines, or help them make a checklist of what to bring to university. Familiarity eases fear.
4. Focus on Strengths and Past Successes
Remind them of other times they coped with change, like switching classes or joining a new club. Reinforce their resilience:
“Remember how nervous you were starting swimming last year, and now you love it?”
5. Teach Calming Techniques
Simple mindfulness tools, such as deep breathing, journaling, or grounding exercises, can help kids and young adults manage anxious moments. Music, movement, and creative outlets can also soothe the nervous system.
Supporting Teenagers and Young Adults Off to University
University transitions are filled with complex emotions—freedom, excitement, fear, and sometimes homesickness. Some helpful strategies include:
Staying connected without hovering: Schedule regular calls or texts but respect their growing independence. Encouraging routines: Help them think about how they’ll manage meals, sleep, finances, and social time. Discussing mental health resources: Most universities offer counselling services—help your child know how to access these early on. Letting go gradually: Trust that your foundation of love, values, and support will travel with them.
What About You, the Parent?
Transitions affect parents too. You might feel a strange mix of pride, grief, anxiety, and even identity loss. Your house might feel too quiet. You might worry about whether your child is coping. It’s important to honour your own emotions during this time.
Here’s how you can support yourself:
Stay connected: Share your thoughts with a partner, friend, or therapist. Find joy in the new rhythm: More time for your hobbies, your rest, or your personal growth. Set boundaries with worry: Worrying is natural, but it doesn’t have to control you. Journaling, mindfulness, and talking things through can help. Access support: Many parents find comfort in online forums, local parent groups, or counselling—especially when the empty nest hits harder than expected.
You Are Not Alone
Every September, across the world, countless families go through this very same process. The mix of nerves, excitement, and sadness is part of the journey. It’s okay to find it hard. It’s okay to not have all the answers.
But what matters most is this: you’re showing up. You’re listening. You’re loving your child through change. And that is the most powerful support of all.
Resources and Support for Parents
Parentline (Ireland): 1890 927277 – Support for parents in times of stress
Jigsaw.ie – Mental health support for young people and parents
AWARE.ie – Mental health resources and support groups
UNIVERSITY STUDENT SUPPORT SERVICES – Check your child’s university website for details
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New beginnings
Transitions are not just endings—they are beginnings. And beginnings, while uncertain, are full of potential. Trust the journey. Take one day at a time. And remember: your love and presence are the most reassuring things your child can carry with them.
If you’re struggling or simply want to talk things through, don’t hesitate to reach out to counselling or parent support services. You deserve care too.
Dr M’s thoughts 